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Archive for the ‘creep mouth’ Category

DOWNTOWN

MY LOVE

I KNOW A PLACE

A SIGN OF THE TIMES

I COULDN’T LIVE WITHOUT

YOUR LOVE

COLOR MY WORLD

_________________

CALL ME

YOU’D BETTER COME

HOME

ROUND EVERY CORNER

WHO AM I

YOU’RE THE ONE

TWO RIVERS

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Within the past month, my apartment has become mildly infested with mice and cockroaches.  I know in New York City this is a common occurrence, along with bedbugs and disappointing hookups, but I am beginning to feel as if the seven plagues are usurping my home.

The interestingly morbid fact about these incidents (though less disgusting than these impostures impeding on your turf)  is how each of the roommates in apartment 1S have decided to go about killing these creatures.

N is the responsible fatherly type who sets traps like a “normal person” would do.  He knows to use empty cracker boxes as decoys and where to put sticky traps.

(I for one think sticky traps are a cruel way to catch mice specifically, and if I see a dead one in the traps, I leave them for N.)

H follows a similar route to N – she takes them into account, kills them if she has to and then leaves a note saying she has done so.  (Mom)

Now move onto the Wednesday and Pugsley Addams of this family.

I myself used to ignore the cockroaches.  I would open the cabinet, reach for a wine glass, jump back, and re-close the door.  After a week or so, I cringed more at the thought of a cucaracha crawling on my face while I slept than I did at killing one.  I resolved to kill her (for some reason it was a she) as swiftly and as far away from her as possible.  Scanning the kitchen for something that would suffice as a weapon, I found a scrap piece of plywood next to the trash.  I picked it up, hovered above her while she experienced her last few moments of scanning my linoleum floor, and dropped the board on her from four feet above the ground.  Only a cartoonesque “SPLAT!” would correctly describe the action.

This may seem cruel – I could catch the bugger (get it??) and set it free to terrorize another person’s overpriced apartment, but what would that solve?  It’s quick, painless – like pulling the proverbial plug.

Thankfully, I have yet to run across a mouse.  If so, not sure how this Clue-style murder scene would go down.

R on the other hand…she is a sick puppy.  This free-spirited, magical being is the most cruel murderer of us all.  She has taken the prolonged approach of starvation as a means to end these insects lives.  Yes, this main seem like the easiest and least labor intensive method, but still, too much for me. Thankfully, the mouse she came into contact with evaded her lengthy death sentence, but the cockroaches have yet to be so lucky.  She simply plops a coffee mug upside onto of the sneaks, and let’s them sit there and think about what they’ve done until their death a week later.  The only plus side is that R uses their carcasses in installation art projects, but the process is still quite eerie.

Anyways…

The whole point of me telling this story is because it is interesting how people respond when faced with the act of murder.  How we handle the subjects has nothing do with who were are as people, on a day-to-day basis.  I personally have a very hard time killing anything – ant, centipede, human, et al.  There are all of those hypothetical scenarios given like, if you were trapped on a desert island, and you had to kill one person to save the others, how would you choose who would die, and could you do it?

Let’s just hope R and I don’t travel together anytime soon…

 

(Kidding!  You are my best friend and I love you!)

 

 

(But seriously.)

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I also like to get ready to the song that Buffalo Bill dances to in Silence of  the Lambs.

Whatever.  Don’t judge.

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